I don't write on here very often, or at all, about being a stepmom... (madastra, bonus mom, or call it what you may). I'm precisely called, "Amanda" or "La Amanda" when not present. "The Amanda" is like my role, my title. This is O. and his Amanda type thing. I like it, because it's my name. And it sounds better than Madastra and a heck of a lot better than Stepmom. Because the adjective "evil" usually precedes that title. And while I'm many things, I like to assert that I'm not evil.
But I recently found the upbeat and engaging website, Stepmother's Milk by fellow Austinite Izzy Rose. She makes it seem cool to be a stepmother. And I thought, maybe just for today I'd write about my recent thoughts on my role.
On Thursday, Oscar's daughter came home from school and said, "Papá...hoy es el día del auxiliar." Translation: el Dia de los Cleaning People. It seems like EVERYONE in Chile has their day. There's el día del niño (child), de la secretaria (secretary), la mamá, el papá, el día del profesor, etc.
And in total respect for the cleaning people... if the frickin people who clean get a day of their own, why can't anyone just declare a frickin día de los padastros (step parents)? I mean, hello, if 1 in 4 families in the U.S.A. end up in divorce, don't you think that perhaps step parents are completely ignored and overlooked?
I asked my husband why there isn't a "Step mother's Day" and he shared my question with his daughter. He said, "When is Amanda going to get her day?" to which my step daughter replied, "She has her day, it's her birthday."
She didn't get it.
But that's O.K. She's 9. And she makes me little home made cards and construction paper gifts on a whim some days anyway. She now tells me, "Amanda, te quiero" (Love you, Amanda) before she goes to bed at night. And every time I hear that little voice saying those words and know that no one ever forced her to say them, that they came from her, and her alone, I think that's all the gratification that I'll need.
But if anyone wanted to declare a Step parents' Day, I certainly would not object.
Workshop Hepp & Medina
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