I can't really go into specifics about much of this, out of respect for the people it's about. The first issues isn't as touchy, just tragic. Someone with whom I graduated high school died this week. We were never really friends. We had mutual friends and I remember skiing with him in groups decades ago. In 2006 or so, he fell two stories after a balcony railing gave way, and he became paralyzed from the waist down. This week he died from complications due to paralysis. Since this happened I have been living in other states and countries and maintain little contact with people from high school other than a few people. So although I had heard about his accident, I had no idea he was in a wheelchair, or that he continued to have problems for years after that. I think his death came as a shock to everyone. Especially my best friend who saw him a few weeks ago, alive and well.
I think this hits home in a selfish way. He was my age, and I feel way too young to die. Is this my memento mori, leading into a carpe diem... seize the day because one day you will die?
Aside from that, I recently found out that one of my mentors from Cornell has suffered a serious of personal losses. In a way that I think very few people could withstand. Then, I found out other personal things about my other mentor that are also painful and difficult to get through. More than what has happened to these people, I just feel so terrible and cannot stop thinking about them. So much that I was up staring at the ceiling last night.
Here come the clichés: Why do bad things happen to good people? They say, "God only gives you as much as you can stand" but I just can't see meaning in all of it. It's not fair, plain and simple. "Life is not fair," is something I hear my father saying over and over again, and probably will continue hearing forever.
End clichés. What else can we say about these things other than just describe the dull pain one feels in their gut, when you're just sad for someone. Not pity, just sad.
Life in London
17 hours ago
3 comments:
Sorry to hear about all of that. This is not about me, but I only have my experience of serious issues to go by... I was diagnosed with cancer at 28 and I heard every cliche in the book: "Everything happens for a reason"; "God won't give you what you can't handle" and don't even get my started on Lance Armstrong and "Cancer was the best thing that happened to me" I could slap him. Sometimes it drove me crazy because in a way, saying some of these things to others in pain is insensitive and I never say them to anyone. But I know that it is hard to know what to say and friends and family jsut want to comfort you. I also think some people need to believe some of these things to get through their own adversity.
Mostly, I think your dad is right, though... Life just isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. There is no rhyme or reason.
Yes, I think your dad and Annje are right too.
I spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering the whole point of me getting run over. And then I realized...there was no point! So then I tried to figure out, well why did I survive. I still like to think that good karma kept me alive and I'll continue to leave my life hoping to do good things for others and in turn bring good karma in my lief. However, that I survived due to good karma is just something I tell myself in order to make me feel better about what happened.
There is no rhyme or reason. And contrary to what the media might tell you, you don't have to think positive all the time. I think feeling pain is good sometimes. Sorry for what you/people you know are going through.
Sorry.
I'm sort of one of those people who thinks that things happen for a reason, but that doesn't make it any easier when they do happen. I've had some pretty serious things happen to me and every time I'm left wondering "Why did this happen?" Most times, I'm eventually able to figure out why, but it's not until years of thinking and pondering.
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