Pointing fingers

I was so sad when I woke up and saw that a two year old had died from the flu nearby in Houston. I think it makes us all here in Texas a little bit more anxious.

I've been noticing some responses in the Texas newspapers about the epidemic. Although CNN made no mention of this, The Austin American-Statesman was quick to mention that the victim was from Mexico City. Look at this article: Officials: Boy who died in Texas is from Mexico City

I think it's really interesting that CNN chose not to disclose personal information out of respect for the family, whereas Texas seems to be shouting it from the rooftops. I'm sure this is some sort of attempt to mentally distance the people in Texas from the danger.

In other news, it's creeping up to Austin, slowly. New Braunfels and Comal school districts have suspended classes. They are just south of us here in Austin.

I was really laughing today when I saw a video on CNN that contained interviews of Mexicans explaining where the disease started. Everyone's just trying to point across the border.



United States: It's the immigrants!

Mexico: It's the tourists!

the flu everyone's talking about

I was really sick at the end of March, as I mentioned. Today I read about two kids in California who caught the virus and recovered on their own. The cases in the US have been "mild." Is it possible that this flu has already circulated around the States? I wouldn't even be surprised if I had it. At the time I figured I had a bad cold or something, one of the worse in a long time.

People are buzzing about why people in Mexico are dying and not in other places. I have two theories:
The first is... how many of the people dying in Mexico are smokers? Just a thought. They say that people who have stronger immune systems are the ones who are dying. Maybe smoking comes into play.

Also, O. always tells me that I because we disinfect everything here we have weak immune systems. That's why I get sick the second I step foot into Chile. But perhaps, in this case, it's to someone's advantage. Maybe not as many people are dying in the U.S. because our immune systems are not as developed/resistant and thus not causing such a lethal reaction.

Thus far there have been no cases in Austin. I'm a little nervous, I'll admit. I'm trying to keep it in perspective, but I've been washing my hands like nuts lately. And I'm tempted to take a break from public transportation for a while and make Oscar drop me off on his way to work every morning.

If anything, this is really showing us how global and connected we all are. Within days this sort of thing dissipates around the world!

I hope everyone's healthy and stays that way.

(Summer) Jobless

I can't get a frickin summer job.

I have filled out application upon application. I've gone to a handful of interviews, done phone interviews. Applied for jobs way under my hourly pay requirements. Offered to work into the following school year. (I really didn't mind.) I just wanted something. And no one will hire me.

I just needed to complain and gripe a little bit.

I feel like I am a very employable girl. I have lots of experience doing different things. I'm bilingual. I'm professional. I'm creative. I offer to work any hours they need. But for some reason nothing's taking!

My biggest gripe has been that employers tell me they are going to contact me by a certain date, and then fail to do so. This has happened now 5 times with different people who seemed showed interest in hiring me. I don't mind if people don't want to hire me, but honestly, I feel like you should not interview people if you don't have the balls to call someone or at least email them to tell them they haven't gotten the job.

Yesterday afternoon, after not receiving a phone call that I was expecting about a recent interview, I was contemplating applying for a physically demanding baking job that would require going in to work at 4am every morning. Then it dawned on me. I really don't need to work.

I am a graduate student. I get paid to do that. It's not a lot, but it gets us by. Extra money for luxuries is always something positive, but even if I don't work this summer after cutting back, we will get food on the table, pay our rent, and get by.

So, I've thrown in the towel. If a job happens to walk up and tap me on the shoulder, I'll take it, sure. But I'm thinking that's pretty unlikely at this point.

This summer I'm spending a month with my step-daughter. I'm reading for my masters comprehensive exams. And I'm doing yoga 5 days a week. I will be poor. I will be bored sometimes I'm sure. But it's only three months and it's not the end of the world.

Ashtanga

This is the kind of yoga I'm focusing on learning. I can't do all of that stuff... by the way, maybe I won't ever, but I'm getting there!

Six months, pull-free!

Although I'm a little foggy on the date, I remember celebrating my stepdaughter's birthday last September and thinking that I would stop pulling on that date. And six months later, I've kept my goal.



I went out and celebrated with a haircut! I told my stylist, Camille, that I didn't care what she did, I just wanted it to be big! I have been loving big, messy, textured hair. As it's grown in it's just been amazing to feel it thickening, darkening and having a life of its own again. I spent so many years slicking down the fly away wisps that now I just want it to consume my head.

O. whined a little bit when I came home and called me his niñito. He says I look like a boy. I explained that boys don't have boobs. But at this point I'm going to let it grow. Everyone wants to see what I look like with long hair, so after this cut I'm letting it grow out. That will probably produce a few months of awkwardness, but I think if I cut a little bit each time and do it the right way it won't be such a mess. Until then, I'm enjoying this crisp, new cut and taking today as a victory.

Things I adore/have noticed about living in the south/Texas.

I'm constantly thinking about cultural differences in my head since my husband is Chilean and I go to school with a lot of people from different countries. (Right now I'm looking over at my hubby and smiling because his feet are as bare as the day he was born and none of us are keeling over, dead.) But many of the cultural differences that I'm experiencing in my new home (The State of Texas) have been quite welcome changes, and I'm going to take a little moment to analyze some of the major things I've noticed.

1. People say hi to you. Yes, sometimes complete strangers will say hello on the sidewalk. That's true, but not often. But one thing I absolutely adore about this new place is that no matter how short of a conversation you've had with someone -- even if they simply recognize you from class -- they will say hello. This DID NOT happen at Cornell, and not even in Pennsylvania. Often I'd pass someone who I recognized, at times someone with whom I've had multiple conversations, a "facebook friend", even, and they would turn their head and pretend that they did not see me. This literally drove me insane. I'm not sure why people do that, culturally, but I think everyone's insecure and worried that maybe you don't remember them. Sometimes in my home town I'd bump into someone from high school and I'd get a huge grin on my face, ready to run up and ask them how they are, and BAM! ignored. Why? I don't know. I guess people from the north east are simply cold, living up to their stereotypes.

2. The dress is casual. Yes, people wear dresses and yes, they dress up and look nice. But the majority of people here, around the university and the capitol, wear jeans. Sometimes even cowboy boots. I seldom go out and feel under dressed. In the north east everyone seems to dress up a lot more. Maybe it's cause it's hot here and maybe it's cause we're all a bunch of cowboys, but I love it. Adore it, even.

3. I don't get as much flack for being a "yankee" as I expected. Maybe people are just afraid to say things to my face, and maybe no one pays attention to my license plate, but no one has really given me that hard of a time. You'd be surprised how many people in Austin aren't actually from Texas.

4. People don't speak to my husband in Spanish. I thought that perhaps O. would be mistaken for a Mexican more often than he actually is. This is neither good, not bad, but it surprised me. I thought he'd be rattling off his native tongue all the time at every chance (as I did in Chile whenever I was with people who spoke English). But no one hears his accent and goes straight into the Spanish.

5. Things really are bigger in Texas. Big trucks, big hamburgers, big beers.

6. Austin is simply a colorful, vibrant place. Every business seems to have a whimsical sign with colors, crazy fonts, and puns in their slogans. There are huge alligators on restaurants, bat colonies under the bridges and tacky taco trucks on every corner. One of the most popular eateries is called the Trailer park. It's just a fun, creative place. I've never been anywhere else like it.

I am in love with Austin. This is honestly the nicest city I've ever lived in. I don't ever want to leave. Unfortunately, I doubt we will be able to stay here forever, but for now I'm adoring my temporary home city and falling a little more in love everyday.

Am I in the honeymoon phase? I don't know. But from what I've heard people move here and stay for the rest of their lives. I'm definitely not the only one who has been swept of their feet.

I'm just becoming a human pretzel, that's all.

I have been a little obsessed with yoga, lately. I know that I've mentioned this before. However, I've been going 5 days a week (other than when I was sick) and I think that perhaps it's a kind of addicting activity. People can get addicted to running. So why not yoga? The past few weeks it seems I can't go anywhere without my yoga mat. I finally invested in a mat strap so I no longer have to carry it hooked into my elbow, but instead, now it hangs off my back.

I don't do a certain kind of yoga, but instead a smattering of different classes with different instructors: I have been taking vinyasa classes, hatha flow, and my favorite, Ashtanga.

Anyway, I've had the same mat since I was in high school, and I've decided that it is time for an upgrade. Since getting more ambitious, I've been slipping and sliding around my mat in several classes. Actually, since I started doing the poses correctly I've been sweating a lot more. I'm a naturally flexible person, and also double-jointed, so instead of engaging my muscles in the poses, a lot of time I was just sort of hanging out in my joints. This was especially problematic in downward facing dog. When I went to bed one night with shooting pains going up and down my elbow, I realized I might be doing something wrong. My neighbor is a massage therapist and a general fitness goddess, and she's the one who figured out what was wrong with my form.

Since engaging my muscles and keeping my limbs in line, instead of sitting into my double joints, the pain has disappeared. But I've come to realize that my mat is not cutting it. After reading some reviews and consulting with my neighbor (who also practices Ashtanga) I've learned that the Hugger Mugger Mandara Yoga Mat is pretty much an all-around great premium mat for more demanding styles. I would have loved to have found it in pretty colors or designs, but I think perhaps the black is a reminder that no-one needs to be flashy in the shala. And every more exciting was that I found the mat on sale on amazon.com for $13 less than the retail price! It's going to arrive tomorrow and I'm so excited to start breaking it in.

Unfortunately my cheap university-funded yoga classes are going to end in May, so I'll be forced elsewhere to practice over the summer. I was going to try and practice at home, but I realized that it would be impossible to push myself like I have been doing in a group setting. I've seen such big improvements in my endurance and core-strength that I just can't bear to take 3 whole months off. So, I've decided to get an unlimited summer pass at an Austin yoga studio. It's pricey, but I guess that will motivate me to keep going.

I've mentioned the benefits of yoga like helping me fall asleep and my digestion, but I really think there's something psychological, spiritual, even, going on when you practice. Meditation is supposed to improve quality of life and even help people with illnesses like depression. So I really feel like this is an activity that I can keep with me for the rest of my life. It might not make pounds melt off my body and it might not be as impressive as other sports, but people can practice it into old age.

I still swim, occasionally, to improve my cardiovascular fitness. But lately I think yoga is actually rather aerobic. Really, the trick is to actually do a style of yoga that isn't just about relaxation. I've done too many that are just gentle and I feel like I'm not getting any work out whatsoever. Once you start flowing, connecting your breath and your movement, and once you hold a chair pose for a few minutes, you'll never believe how much sweat you'll produce.

Long Lost Art

I used to be a painter.

Reaching my peak of artistic expression at the age of 16, my mom let me take classes with a local muralist when I was in the 10th grade. They were figure drawing classes. It was spring, the flowers were budding, the birds were chirping. There were four of us and we'd set up our easels in a garage-converted-into studio and everyone chained smoked (except me) while we sketched a nude model listening to Bob Dylan records. I learned to draw from real life, how to manage "foreshortening" and bought a book with anatomical drawings so that I could learn about muscle and bone structure. I loved those classes. My skills became so fine-tuned and my instructor was so encouraging. I remember when he'd come over and take my brush with his tobacco stained fingers and explain how using red in the foreground and blue in the background created a three-dimensional effect. That, he had learned while working as an animator at Disney.

I was thinking about art school, at least majoring in art, until I got to my senior year of high school and reached the level of "Advanced Placement Art" with Mr. Pinkey (I've changed his name). Mr. Pinkey was a sleaze-ball. He spent more time flirting with the ditzy blonde girls in my classes than actually helping us learn. I had suffered through three semesters with him, never hearing a single word of encouragement. This was so difficult for me because prior to that my teachers had told me I was "gifted" when it came to drawing. He didn't like my style and I didn't like his assignments. He wanted me to draw chairs and shoes and dryer-lint. I wanted to paint people. We were a bad match and I dropped art.

Feeling discouraged I focused on English, my other favorite subject. My senior year English Teacher, Ms. Brummett (haven't changed her name) was a dream. She made me so excited about literature and poetry and it became my new love. The summer before college she made a book club for a few of her students and we spent lazy afternoons sipping tea and discussing, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, which is still one of my all-time favorite books.

It's been nearing a decade, literally years and years have passed without me ever picking up a paintbrush. Sometimes I'll have to complete a creative activity, such as making party favor's for F's birthday, and I'll stay up all night making cardboard packages with bursts of tissue paper and color. O. will look at me like I'm insane but the truth is that I just love the creative outlet. I've channeled a lot of this into cooking. There's color, fusion, taste involved.

But I miss painting. I miss having my fingernails perpetually stained with color. I miss losing myself for hours to form and color, a good CD repeating in the background.

My paints have dried up, I've lost my brushes.

I've wondered if perhaps I should buy a few canvasses, a few tubes of paint and try again. I've wondered if the spring, with the afternoon light being just right and the songs of the birds is making me a little bit nostalgic. I've always felt creative in the spring. Maybe it's time to unearth that long lost art.

More Nico Vega

I'm still listening to those bands from SXSW. Nico Vega, if you're out there somewhere: I think you should make an acoustic album. How awesome is this song, really? I want to buy their CD but I really prefer the acoustic versions of their songs.