I've been really shaken up about my ability last month to dream things that were actually happening. They were not precognitive dreams. I didn't dream about events that were going to happen in the future. Instead, I dreamed about people with whom I've had contact in the past and somehow intercepted actual information from them. My last dream happened on December 9th when I dreamed about a friend whom I saw the next day. In my dream he had on a yamaka. The next day I told him about my dream because it seemed so humorous. And he revealed that over the past weekend he actually had been wearing a yamaka. Keep in mind he's not Jewish. It was so strange that I didn't believe him, but he swore that he did have on a yamaka.
Shortly thereafter I changed my dosage of my medications and the dreams have since stopped completely.
The main reason I started undergoing therapy and taking medication was due to anxiety and hair-pulling, as I mentioned in the past. Part of me suspected that I actually had social anxiety as well, due to my aversion to groups of people, especially crowded, urban environments. But in the past few days I've been reading some stuff about "Empaths", or highly sensitive or intuitive people and I think I might be onto something.
I discovered this questionnaire at an Empath website.
Some of the side effects listed are uncanny. I experience all of them, but then there's this one: "Have physical symptoms that related to hearing (ringing, popping, itching in the ear canal)." I had never thought about this, but it brought back a memory from when I was younger:
When I was maybe 13 or 14, I was staying with my grandmother and aunts and we stopped to visit the house of a family friend. She was really happy to see us and invited us into her house. We entered from the backyard where she had a fence and her older German Shepherd was. He was paralyzed from the waist down and had to drag himself around. Seeing him, I automatically felt overwhelming nausea. She invited us inside the house and asked if we would go in and see her mother. She explained that she was very ill and frail, but that she loved to see children and that she would be delighted to see me and my brother. We entered the room where she was bedridden, right off the kitchen. We went in and she was lying in bed, covered in white bed clothes. She was weak and emaciated. She mustered a smile and drew my brother and me closer so she could see us.
At some point my aunt had asked me to hold her purse, and I had it over my shoulder. For some reason, after I had entered that room, I felt light-headed and dizzy. I couldn't think of an excuse to leave the room so I told my aunt that I wanted to put her purse in the car. My ears starting buzzing and then the ringing became louder and louder. She was confused and told me that she didn't want her purse in the car, but I kept insisting and stumbled back into the kitchen. At this point the ringing became deafening and all I could remember was my vision going brown. My aunt caught me as I passed out.
The energy from that poor old woman's room was too much for me. When I came to, the friend apologized to me and said, "I'm sorry, I think there's just too much death in this house." She gave me a creamsicle and my grandma and aunt drove me home. The old woman died shortly thereafter, but I'm not sure when.
It's just something to think about, I guess. It makes me wonder, though, how much of what I feel is me and how much is the people around me. It might explain the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I get around certain people, why I know automatically when I'm not wanted and the overwhelming, light-headed feeling I experience in crowded places. Why in certain hotels I couldn't sleep with overwhelming senses of dread and why all of my boyfriends/friends/husband have been exceptionally chill people. And why I can't stand to be around people with tense, nervous energy.
And yes, if you aren't already convinced I'm a little batty, I don't see how this doesn't seal the deal for you.
Photo Wednesday: Sunny Castle in Berat
13 hours ago