My antidepressants are not working. Nope. Since I've been feeling "yuck" last summer, I've switched off of Cymbalta, which never really felt like it took full therapeutic effect, and went back to Celexa, which seemed to work better last year.
But It's been a month, and well, nothing. Same old thing.
What's wrong with me? I wonder. I know I'm under extreme stress right now. Masters comprehensive exams in April, Child custody case going on in Chile, and now a trip to North Carolina and a graduate program finalist interview at the end of February. I want so badly to pop a pill and be able to handle it all. We also owe about $1000 in taxes right now, which coincides horribly with needing to pay $3000 for Fran's school next year. That's almost all the money in our bank account right now... since we just paid a $3000 deposit on O's MBA.
Since my psych eval last month, too, I've been feeling more blah. I forked over nearly $500, hoping to discover something groundbreaking. But, aside from the PTSD and learning I have "dependent" tendencies, nothing was new. Old hat. I also discovered that my depression is "mild." I would say that more than anything it's just a general lack of energy... my body can't seem to follow my brain. I just want to have a "drive" again.
There's been a ton of literature coming out about how antidepressants may only work for people with moderate to severe depression. Really? It honestly makes me wonder--is this why I'm feeling the same way? Is this why I'm not feeling anything? Would I be better off with acupuncture, Bach Flowers and St. John's Wort?
I've gone off my antidepressants before, for four months, and I can't say I felt all that different. The major difference is that I cry more, am more hypersensitive off of the drugs.
But everytime I come out of my psychiatrist's office, I go back to thinking I shouldn't be off the meds.
But then again, she also has it in her mind I'm an alcoholic and binge drinker. Which is ridiculous.
So I don't know. I'm just at this stand-still point. And I'm tired. All I know is that yesterday I slept well, ate enough (didn't try and diet) and I felt energetic and alert, awake and ready for my day. Maybe that's just all it takes.
Reviews: GF cereal, flax milk, vegan protein
12 hours ago
3 comments:
Hmmm... I'm trying to think of some more natural things you could try that would be cheaper. My mom uses an artificial light in the winter and it helps give her the energy to get going. She just turns it on while she drinks her morning coffee. My boyfriend takes St. John's Wort and he claims he can handle stress at work better. I've heard that some people with low levels of vitamin D can be more prone to depression. Also, omega 3's have been found to have some affect on mild depression. Also SAM-e...and some b vitamins. I'm only on on pill right now at the moment. I take it to sleep. I don't know if I could sleep without it. It makes me nervous even thinking about it. My depression and anxiety tend to manifest as major insomnia.
Oh weird word verification: Unbarfs. Is that like when you barf and then take it back? Ewww...
Maybe this might be helpful http://altmedicine.about.com/od/healthconditionsatod/a/Depression1.htm ?
I think the fact that you are actively trying to get over this shows that it's just a matter of time.
It also sounds like you've got a ton on your plate at the moment.
If you haven't read "The Power of Now", that book would get me out of a funk when I found myself in one.
I'd also recommend Deepak Chopra books. I read one in Spanish called something like Energía sin limite; that seemed to help me when I was a little depressed. I don't know if it is in English, but the other one I read and liked was "Perfect Health".
In case you are interested: http://store.chopra.com/showitemsdept.asp?deptcode1=500&pagesize=all
And please do a post on "taking the condition of the green card" when you guys do it. I totally forgot to respond to your email, but that'd be great. I'll definitely link to you from my blog, cause immigration info is so useful!!"
Saludos
Post a Comment